Because They're Burning Bricks

The next morning we got up early to go to Disneyland, and we had the best Disney luck ever. We never waited for longer than about 20 minutes for a ride. Space Mountain broke down for our second trip through, but was fixed in time that we could ride it again one more time. Other than that, instead of breaking down after we spent half an hour in line, the rides broke down after we were done with them. We weren’t going to go see the parade, but we got stuck waiting to cross over to another part of the park and so discovered that the parade was really quite awesome. (It is amazing how clear it is that Alice in Wonderland is the product of a fevered, drugged brain when you are staring at a several-story-high caterpillar on a ginormous shroom) There were some amazing acrobatics during the parade. We went to a place that that Shannon and Walker had discovered for watching the fireworks, and just as we got settled, I said, “Ok, we’re ready, you can start now.” And the fireworks did. Then we wandered around a bit and rode Pirates one more time and left around midnight.

Saturday, Pearl’s head was threatening to explode and there were owies on several feet, so we stopped at a drugstore. We also went to Donut Man and the very rare Starbucks. Naomi and I were in my car and Shannon, mspurplepearl, and Laurel were in the other. Naomi and I saw a car pulled over to the side of the road where the tire hadn’t blown as much as it had melted a hole in it. Then we remembered that we’re from Seattle and we don’t like the desert sun. Ooops.

We arrived in Las Vegas just in time to get ready and go get our tickets for Zumanity . The show was pretty good. There were definitely some hot scenes, and again, some pretty incredible acrobatics. The chubby girls were great, although at times I had the uncomfortable feeling that maybe it was their appearance and not their behavior or character that was supposed to be funny (everything in the show is played broadly, and so it is kind of hard to tell if I was being sensitive to a personal topic, or if what I was seeing was really there. The midget, I also felt was played too broadly for laughs, although he had an absolutely stunningly gorgeous aerial acrobatic piece that redeemed his use as a punch line the rest of the night.) One of the singers was gorgeous and Naomi and I both adored her.

We went on the New York, New York roller coaster after the show and then ate at a Irish-ish place in NY, NY but that exited to The Strip. While there, we got our “bachelorette party” accessories going and then after dinner headed out to the casinos.

The Bellagio was lovely, although Naomi described the entry ceiling as looking like Dale Chihuly vomit. I couldn’t disagree; I just thought it was pretty Chihuly vomit. We played slots and Naomi won a boatload of money, of which she actually managed to cash out about $50. This lady in the bathroom asked who the bride was and because I am a dead lousy liar, it came out that we were just faking for the hell of it, which she heartily approved of. Shannon and Laurel returned to the hotel before Naomi, Pearl, and I did. Some guy in the casino touched my hair muppet and said something, but I didn’t understand him. Then while Naomi and Pearl cashed out, we totally distracted this other (too-pretty) guy when we were joking around about being Mormon Sister-Brides because we couldn’t keep straight who the bride was supposed to be (plus, see above: I am a lousy liar, which didn’t help). All in all, a good time was had by all.

The next day started slowly and then we went to the Aladdin (I think) to see a comedy show. Naomi enjoyed it, Pearl and I enjoyed that it was bad, and I’m not sure what Shannon and Laurel thought. There were some funny bits, although the guy was a little too proud of his stints on The Entertainer and America’s Got Talent. The only part I really objected to was the one trick when he was supposed to have gotten a date with an ugly girl (still a showgirl, just dressed geeky, so really, extra hot) and shoved her into a Beautifying machine which turned out to be a trash compactor. HAHA! Isn’t that funny? Yeah, I didn’t think so either. The only redemption to the bit I could’ve thought of is if the showgirl were to come out as the black guy or if she were to shove the magician into the compactor after she got out. But that didn’t happen. OH! But the best part was that they took photos of the audience and then you could take them after the show for the magician to sign. Which we didn’t do. At lunch Naomi and Pearl rocked the bottomless mimosas, drinking about 12 each for $5. We watched the storm in the middle of the Aladdin, complete with a little girl who really enjoyed being scared by the thunder, screaming, and running away. Over and over and over again.

Naomi and Pearl’s flight was delayed, and so we had dinner in the hotel room and then I took everybody but Shannon to the airport. I was glad the drop off for Pearl and Naomi was first because after I hugged them goodbye I started to cry and probably would’ve bawled and bawled until the airport security people came and told me I had to move my car except that Laurel was still in the car and I can’t cry in front of people I don’t know well. Which is probably for the best since driving back to the hotel while sobbing doesn’t strike me as particularly safe.