Inappropriate for Day Shift
Posted By Sika on May 6, 2007
I’m going to try parsing out my posts so that I can leave as much as possible unfriendslocked. We’ll see how that goes or if it’s too disjointed. One of the things that my aunt pointed out to me on our walk on GraniteMountain was some agave, which she thinks is gorgeous. The agave lives as a mild mannered succulent-type thing for many years. Then one day it starts to throw up this enormous stalk, which grows a couple inches a day until it’s 5-15 feet tall. Lizi was telling me how gorgeous she thought the agave was and I said, “I think it looks funny.”
“But isn’t it impressive?”
“Impressively funny looking.”
Lizi looked at it again, “Well it is awfully phallic.”
*beat*
“Don’t you like penises?”
Me: “I like penises, but I also think they look funny.”
*beat*
Lizi: “Yes, well they do look funny.”
In other news, one of the things that Shannon and I were talking about was about how different sex drive can be when you’re in an open relationship as opposed to a monogamous one. It seems as though, when you know you’re only going to see your partner on Wednesday, you’re a lot more likely to be in the mood. Whereas, if you’re going to see your partner tomorrow and the next day and the next day, you’re more likely to allow a crappy day at work or whatever to get in the way. As I’ve been thinking about this more, I think this counts emotionally, too. At least for a while, you’re more likely to be your best person with a partner you don’t see all the time, because, well, you can always be crabby tomorrow. I don’t know—it’s late and I’m just stream of consciousnessing right now.
speaking from a monogamous perspective: I feel good that I can safely share my “bad days” with Sigfried. He often turns my bad day into a good day. I would do the same for him any day! Its great to have someone I can trust every day of my life with such openess and honesty with my feelings. I’m not happy all the time, but with Sig that’s okay because he still loves me.
I think you’re right about the sex drive part of poly, or at least in my experience. I kept 5 partners for a couple years, with no problem. Now-a-days, I don’t think I could do that. Part of it is age, but part of it is habits you get into with monogamous sex drives. I think being monogamous you’re also more likely to be influenced chemically and emotionally by your partner, since you’re around them and only them more.
Another difference I’ve found is that with multiple relationships I need more dedicated alone/*me* time. In a monogamous relationship I need way less. It’s like I’m giving smaller bursts of energy over long periods of time, so I don’t wear out as fast.