More thoughts
Posted By Sika on May 8, 2007
I realized that I wasn’t very clear in my last post. I think I came across as still being unsure of monogamy vs polyamory or open relationships (for me), which I am not. I think I may have also came across as thinking that polyamory is better, which is not what I meant.
What I was thinking about, as someone who has decided that really, monogamy is for her, is that there are elements of other relationships that I’ve had that I liked a lot.
I think that it is both wonderful and sad that the people we (as a human group) tend to lash out at the most are the people that we love and trust the most. Wonderful because it is really important to have someone with whom to vent and be crabby and just be yourself without worrying about if you’re being yourself too much. But sad because the people who put up with all your crap and still love you deserve the best out of you, y’know?
And mostly, I was wondering if it was possible to capture that kind of gentleness and best behavior in a LTR. Not for every day, because that would be too Stepford, but maybe once a week? Can you schedule “Be Nice Days” and then *not* blow them off because of a crappy day at work? (Or I guess, what I really mean is can I?)
Ok, I’ve been up since 5 in a different time zone, so I’m done with this because I don’t think I’m making sense anymore.
I can only speak from what I’ve experianc, so here it goes:
I think the key is really making the best of a bad moment when they occur. When I was working at a really stressful job, I would come home in the foulest of moods. On many occasions, I would be honest about my day and tell Sigfried what I was feeling. I would try my very best to let him know if I did something or said something mean, it wasn’t because of him, it was because I was feeling bad. After talking with him over dinner or cuddling on the bed, I would feel 100 times better. He always tell me, “Forget about work, and play some games with me.” Sig is just awesome that way, always turning my bad days into good days. I try not to stew in my bad day; I allow the love and kindness from my husband to seep into me. It’s the best gift he can give me!
I would also say the same for making the best of a good day — make the most of it! If I’m having an awesome day, I will share that feeling with my husband in a way he would like. I’ll say, make, or do something for him, try to give him something he would love. It’s the least I could do for all those times he’s been by my side and loved me despite my bad days.