Things said at the introductory meeting with the first years
Posted By Sika on November 11, 2008
Do not get pregnant. Do not give others pregnancy.
Each room [in the hostels] has two keys. You and your friend get one. I keep the other one so I can come in whenever I want and snatch a hotplate or find your illegal visitors.
Some people, especially the men, like to go around at odd hours. There is a prison just here and sometimes, at midnight*, the convicts, um, the prisoners escape. The guards will fire at anyone anyhow, so you must be careful or you may catch a bullet.
Some of you are big and are married. You should be careful not to get get pregnant. If you are young, you should, what? (Chorus answer: Abstain). Abstain. If you will not abstain, you use a what? (Chorus answer: Condom). A Condom. (pause) Do we provide these things?
*A good number of people in Zomba prison are there for witchcraft. The story goes that, every night at midnight, the witches get on their winnowing baskets and fly to the UK.
. . . And then apparently return in the morning to be locked up in their un-airconditioned, one meal a day, overcrowded cells.
. . . Because of course they wouldn’t stay in the UK.
You made an asterisk, but no footnote. I need to know the more!
Hey little mama!
As for you Ms. Sika — Me too – tell me more.
ILYTM, GW
I’m on a roll for that kind of thing right now. All fixed, though.