13 July: Kate and Wanangwa’s Wedding Reception
Posted By Sika on September 10, 2009
Wanangwa and Kate, two Zomba friends of mine, got married. It almost didn’t happen because their ankhoswe* was late and the law books say you can only get married between certain hours, and the only reason the guy marrying them took pity was that Kate’s mum was returning to Scotland the next day.
Anyway, so they got married (yay!) and invited me to the reception. I asked if I could bring anything or get anything and since I am Zomba-ly famous-ish for my baking, Kate asked if I could bake a cake. Turned out I couldn’t decide what to make, so I baked a chocolate chocolate chocolate cake and a vanilla lavender cake with lemon frosting. I might not have volunteered though, if I had known baking the cakes included having (miniscule) duties at the reception—which lead Wanangwa to call me, worried that I not be (too) late.
But I arrived, and although I had been worried about how many people I would know, I knew a fair number of people. I talked to Moira about my knitting for the other Moira; Susannah and I talked about Erin; Emma and I discussed Dignitas and whether Acela would kill me for taking pictures of her during perikani perikani; I told Fatima her veggie samoosas were the best I’d ever had in my life . . . .
And then I got to hold the cake while Kate and Wanangwa did the slicing and fed each other small bites (thank goodness the smooshing cake on the face thing is not a Malawian custom). Next I got to slice two 9” cakes into enough pieces for 40-60 people. I should’ve anticipated since there were two types of cake people would take one slice of each and cut a circle out of the middle to double the slices. But I didn’t.
There were nice little conversation spaces made out of circles of chairs, but many of the amayi had pilfered the chairs because they preferred to sit in lines, segregated by gender, in the traditionally Malawian way. Kate and Wanangwa tried to be respectful to both of their traditions, so, for instance, they had perikani perikani, but for a much shorter time than normal. And they didn’t have thrones.
Perikani perikani is when guests dance up to the (usually enthroned) bride and groom and place small bills (usually K20 or K50) in a basket. Often the MC announces what everyone gives the couple, but I assume the couple in question nixed that particular idea. Acela and another woman took it upon themselves to change out the smaller bills for bigger ones so someone who (like me) forgot and only had K500 bills could change them out to keep the fun going. People get pretty silly with the dancing individually and in groups, and giving the money dramatically enough they could be in a Nigerian movie, so it’s loads of fun to watch.
*ankhoswe, besides being one of my favourite words in Chichewa (right up there with akhaidi, which means prisoner), is sort of a combined best man/maid of honor/witness thing. The difference is that if the marriage fails, the husband and wife need to get their ankhoswe to agree to let them divorce, and then the ankhoswe will help with all the other steps. More or less.
Wonderful blog – brings back memories and is making me homesick! (The fact that I’m Scottish is neither here nor there when it comes to feeling homesick for Malawi and Zomba in particular!)
I was particularly interested in this post, as it reminded me of my very first weekend in Malawi, when I went to a Chinkhoswe in Likhubula, Mulanje. Did you also partake in the eating of chicken to show your part in supporting the couple? Interestingly, that chinkhoswe was also of a Scottish Kate, and I am curious … it is many years, nine or ten, since I last saw her, and she looked remarkably like the Kate in your photo, so I was curious … could it be the same Kate? I understand that her first marriage ended, so it would not be completely impossible that my acquaintance from Songani could be marrying again in Zomba … I would love to hear from you, to learn if it is the same Kate, and if so, to pass on my greetings!
Some random notes on your other postings that I’ve read through so far … and have brought that funny feeling of happiness and sorrow to my stomach as I’ve read … handwashing … the chimbudzi!! true, true … did you used to lie awake at night listening to the Zomba howl? I wonder if you ever visited my Kachere friends based inside ZTC, and I completely agree that it is so important for anyone visiting Malawi to learn Chichewa (I’m fortunate enough to have a couple of friends at work in London who can speak a little Chichewa as well, I try to keep my hand in) … I wonder if you’ve had the chance to read The Jive Talker yet? About growing up as a young Malawian in the eighties. I’m sure you would find that as you read it, you would be reminded of your time there.
Thanks for the memories … and, again, if it is the same Kate M, nee Kate F, then please pass on my regards. If not, how wonderful that another Scotland-Malawi link has been made!